what the heart says;

obey;

2010-04-07T19:21:00.000-07:00

maybe obedience should come into the picture.
i should be all along.....
"Obedience to God—and only obedience—leads to real life, helping us soar past empty pursuits."- Deu

clueless;

2010-04-05T21:50:00.000-07:00

sometimes, worldly things can't really fulfill your heart's desires.

this holiday has been rather fulfilling in some ways but yet its also a wasteful holiday too!

can't really explain how i'm feeling inside.

no one knows and i wouldn't know very much what i really grave and want fo to fill up that silence and coldness inside.

is it because doing so many things at one go and sustaining everything at one shot makes it happen this way?

numb to all the stress or even business?

God, find me back!

2010-03-28T05:12:00.000-07:00

i don't know myself which cause you to be at loss.

now, only He knows...

a balloon that's stuck in a small enclosed area...

2010-03-20T23:38:00.000-07:00

its not that i don't wanna obey you....

its just the words you put onto me is really very hurtful...

you don't understand and don know what's going on...

so why not juts keep quiet and let me slowly sort things out?

why can't you just don't say anything and trust that i can do...

cause once you said things, it pushed me all the way down...

and it's already so hard for me to prove to you and to stand striaght back...

why do you have to always indirectly destroy me?

pass by quick please...

2010-03-20T09:30:00.000-07:00

Please oh please be back soon.

Cause this distance is killing me.

and God, don'y let attacks take control.

cause i'm afraid.

tiring yet fullfiling!

2010-03-18T20:39:00.000-07:00

this is so hard...

its so hard even until now...

hearts are hardened and there seems to be no way i can ever make you see how much i've grown...

i thought by now, you'll slowly know and see...

but no....you didn't...

i'm hurt by you...and you'll never know....

God, how?

anw....i went to Pulau Ubin to cycle ytd with Kai and his friends..

its really exciting and fun!!

well...its definte;y very tiring and all...

but i would say its a very good exercise for me and Kai..hahahah!!

there were alot of up slopes but i know that whenever there's a up slope...i'll always be rewarded for a down slope....

and this Trip to Pulau Ubin remindered of God's amazing grace! =]

lazy Saturday;

2010-03-12T18:45:00.001-08:00

i've decided to post a real post today cause i felt that the pass two posts or so were just come and go post.

so, just at home doing nothing, a lazy Saturday morning.

Kai's having some volunteer thing for some kid's thing so not really free to message me but i'll be fine...=]

later i'll be having this bible contest!!! not really prepared with the verses i'm suppose to remember....=/....DIE!

but i guess it shoule be fine with the help of friends and Sunday School also teaches us Genesis...

had a really good sleep ytd, slept quite alot...

but somehow i feel like i'm doing very little things cause back at the Youth Conference, i'll be receving much much more infomation which is good...

now that i'm back, i really have to find a way to work the things that i've recevied out...

if not it'll be equals to not going for the conference...

guess today will be another normal day...

can't wait to see Kai for dinner tonight!! =]

back again!!

2010-03-11T20:28:00.000-08:00

i'm back to Singapore!!!

Finally!! back to my bed!!!! =D

i actually went to Malaysia Palm Resort for this church youth conference...

hotel was pretty fine and poeple there were all nice poeple..

though you siad it...a youth conference..

but the online youth there was Jolene, Wei Xiang and me...hahah!!

oh wells...i must really thank God for giving me this chance to attend this conference..

thank God for my trainer Randolph....

he though me alot....

but i also thank God i'm back here..

back to Kai....

i missed him...

emotional;

2010-02-28T07:51:00.000-08:00

it's 11.53pm and i'm still here.

sometimes i just hate it when i get too emotional...

i just feel so teary now.....

everything and every thought makes me tear....

why?

do you have exam phobia?

2010-02-28T05:00:00.000-08:00

exam phobia suddenly comes back to me again......=[

i just wish that tml i have no paper...

if only when i sleep and all these worries goes away...

i'd wish to sleep for the next few days...

i know this a stupid way of running away from real life....

and God didn't tell me that life was smoothe sailing throughout....

but thankfully, He promised strength for the day, rest for labor and His undying love...

LAST PAPER!!!! HERE I COME!!! WHETHER GOOD OR BAD, IF GOD IS WITH ME I DO NOT HAVE TO BE AFRAID!!!!

i hope you enjoyed you basketball competition...=]

i cound't see you in dream last night...

irritated MING x/

2010-02-27T08:02:00.000-08:00

sigh sigh sigh and more sigh!!!

woke up quite early to prepare myself for worship prac cause i haven't serve in quite awhile.

i thank God for sending me brothers and sisters around me to let me know that i'm not walking this path alone...

was reminded for His great love once again though the song "Power of Your love".

all i want now is for God to really change how i am living my everyday-->aimlessly.

it's very dry now and i just can't seem to focus in all the things i do.

it's pretty irritating..

HAHAH~ irritated because of myself!!

after worship prac, went home and eat lunch and study.

yea right!! STUDY!!! my foot!!!!

ended up using the com!! well, my excuse: oh, i need to go to the blackboard and do the revision papers....HOW GREAT!!!!

then i went to sleep at around 5pm...

i didn't want to sleep but i thought that maybe if i can't see you in life...

i can see you in my dreams...

who knows...no dreams but awaken by life's hard facts which is mum waking me up by: "Ming Hui ah! you never study, sleep so long!"....=/

then after dinner, i really sat myself down to force myself to study...

did went to the blackboard and guess what??!!

my attention span only last for 1 and a half hour!!!! CRAP MAN!!!!

plus, tml's church which takes up half of the day....

i really pray that God will help me cause i can't even help myself...

the sound of your voice makes me guilty.

the sound of your voice left me tongue tied.

but, there's alot for me to tell you...

_________________

2010-02-26T08:57:00.001-08:00

today isn't my day at all.

paper today was ________________!!!!

just can't find words to describe it...wells, i just thank God its over.

at least He gave me the wisdom and strength needed!

wan't in the mood for anything after paper so went straight home.

surprisingly, i didn't fall asleep on the bus today despite the late night sleep...

was just staring out blanky.

when i reach TPY, i wanted to reward myself a something but somehow i just can't find the right things to satisfy my heart.

walked around, up and down just wanting to find that something...

i don't know if you understand what i'm talking about, but it's just this emptiness.

one more paper left and i'm FREE!!

but......i have no idea how i'm gonna use this holiday...=/

even if there's still this littlest beam of hope, i'll not let it go.

think Ming, think of what you said!!!!!

conclusions;

2010-02-24T18:19:00.000-08:00

In conclusion: i was wrong.

wrong in thinking all is fine.

in a mess;

2010-02-23T22:32:00.000-08:00

decided to stay at home to study today.

was suppose to go school for this extra lesson but in the end never go.

i'm finally sick! but at the wrong timing!!! =[

i wanted to be sick ling time ago cause i thought i can rest.

but now, i need to mug, i can't fall sick.

don't wanna see; don't wanna meassage; don't wanna talk.

but what happens when i really need all these?

i enjoyed my day. not.

2010-02-22T03:50:00.000-08:00

one day before exam:

wake up early in the morning; late for school; go for math;

lunch with Juli; headed back to TYP; go to the library to study alone;

went home at 530pm; feed my all of my cousins cause all of them are lazy; no one around to help cause mum went for church;

baby cousin shited and i had to clean up for her; they played on my bed and made it pretty messy; wished that i could study but their parents haven't come and fetch them;

i am flustered in the midst of all these stress.

my greatest loss for today is that i lost something that's very dear to me. i lost it and it can't be found anymore. no more. it's all my fault.

stupid carelessness.

and, why can't i just accept my faults?

oh God, please tell me, what's wrong with my life.

i can't seem to find my way back to Your way.

Please, only You can help in out...

more pictures..=]

2010-02-21T05:48:00.000-08:00

hahahah!! here's another batch of photos took at grand's place!! =]

this is a photo taken together. there's actually suppose to be more, but they didn't come, so this is it.

this is the nicest picture taken!! this place is where we get the nice Chendo!!
this is my cousin Evelyn. She same age as me and see the difference!!!

heheh!! i am strong!!! Muhahahahah!!!~

guess what?! this is a real gun that my grandfather used for his hunting of wild boars last time!! how cool is that!! [sorry for the nakedness...sexy eh!!hahahah..that's my oldest uncle!]

ooo..shiok!! that BBQ food!!

yay!! that's Yu Xuan, my 7th aunt's youngest boy! cute huh!!?

well, Yu Xuan has weird faces!!!! hahahha...

WOOO!!! that's the firecrackers!!

oh ya!! here's that big BMW that my uncle shipped from LA!!!

and that's me on it!!! heheheh!! Jealous right? =D

this is me and Xin at my grandma's church.

and this is Faith.

PICTURES FROM MALAYSIA!

2010-02-19T05:36:00.000-08:00

alright, some pictures when i'm away at my Grandma's place for CNY!!

now, this is my 80plus years old grandma at the market buying stuff.

this is the well at the kitchen...you don't see this in Singapore's flats!
well, all these are the wedding photos of some fo my cousins and aunts and uncles.

this is my grandma, me and my mum!

hahahah! this is a very old car! my grandfater used it before!!

and of course!! this cahir contains all my ancestors names....=]

and yes, this is how my grandma's house look like from the front view.

that's my mum on my uncle's BMW bike which weigh 100kg!! shipped all the way from LA!!!

this is the most famous noodle in my grandma's village...it's called kam-pung mian.

hahhaa, we celebrated Valentines Day without electricity.....=/

YAY!! Sitiawan's style of BBQ...

my cousin trying to hang the firecrackers on...all ready for CNY!!!

and these are the firecrackers...=]

this is just a cool shot!!!

from left: Xin Hui, Hui Juan, Me and Evelyn.

this is called the wishing light...

and i'm writing my wish down!!

and oh!! this is the chicken that my grandma slaughter!

hehehe, picture taken after a filling meal!!! =]

BACK!!

2010-02-16T07:40:00.000-08:00

alright!!!...i'm back i'm back!! =D

though i miss my grandma's place and everyone there....

i guess i just have to move on...

coming back was a heavy burden....

as i was sitting on the bus today....

exams, chruch things, personal things were all booming into me...

being worried of not able to do a good revision in suvh short timing..

being stressed over things again...

kunpung life is good in a sense that you have very little worries...

but yet again, i'm back here once again!

able to see who i missed..

anw, more photos of my Msia trip in later posts...=]

TATA~

IN MALAYSIA NOW.....

2010-02-14T23:55:00.001-08:00

sick when i travelled to Malaysia...

am at Malaysia right now...

i ate so much during CNY....

firewoorks were great!

firecrakers almost burst my ear drums...

took many rides of motor...

had to travel 1 hour to the nearest internet cafe...

saw how my grandma slaughter the chicken, it was cruel!

i wish i could be at Spore right now...

though i'm having fun....

i just wish i could be with you.....

HAPPY 13TH MONTH, DEAR!

2010-02-11T01:40:00.000-08:00

6 days isn't long.

6 days isn't short too.

plus 2 important dates...

i'm sorry..

wish i could not go..

He stands the tallest;

2010-02-06T07:05:00.000-08:00

"Above all, do not resent temptation; do not be perplexed because it seems to thicken round you more and more, and ceases neither for effort nor for agony nor prayer.

That is the practice which God appoints you; and it is having its work in making you patient, and humble, and generous, and unselfish, and kind, and courteous.

Do not grudge the hand that is moulding the still too shapeless image within you.

It is growing more beautiful though you see it not, and every touch of temptation may add to its perfection."

a junk mail that God spoke to me.

He'll soar with me;

2010-02-05T02:56:00.000-08:00

"Find rest my soul, in Christ alone."

"Be still and know that I am God."

"Know His power, in quietness and trust."

When the oceans rise and thunders roar, I will soar with you above the storm.

I know God stands the tallest when everything else falls.

i am a PRETTY ROSE;

2010-02-04T09:41:00.000-08:00

let's be positive today...

though it feels as if i've not done anything good...

but accept one....

to be able to put up a strong front.

think i scored A+ for that!

i just don wanna trouble people...

and....i dono how to explain to your how i really feel.

*blank*

hopeless; but still believe God is leading.

2010-02-03T17:24:00.000-08:00

when i say i am angry, i was actually saying, "Please come and hold me tight."

when i am saying "I'm sorry", i hope you'll say "I love you."

when i am keeping quiet, i was trying to get your attention.

when i say "do you really want me out", i was hoping you'll say "I need you."

when i say "don't miss me too much", i was actually saying "Please don't stop loving me no

matter how sucky I am."

when i said goodnight and bye and kept queit after that, i was hoping you'd say "I miss you".

God, tell me where i can go from here, cause it seems like there's really no way out.

and you know my heart very well of not letting this go so easily.

Monster MING!!

2010-01-31T05:08:00.000-08:00

i don like the start every month!!!

i don like myself at the start of each month...

i tend to get so paraniod so easily when everything is fine...

get frustrated over minor things..

but for this month and the months ahead, i've set a goal to not be this MONSTER!!!

i don want others because of this MONSTER is affected!!!

it's gonna be hard cuase its things that can't be controlled...

but God, please help me conquer this bad habit i have!!

i really need to conquer it and learn how to live my life like You.

Thanks!

2010-01-24T07:40:00.000-08:00

I greatly regret syaing those words.

i can never forgive myself.

what if there's no me?

2010-01-22T00:03:00.000-08:00

what if one day i don't drop messages?

what if one day i don't drop calls?

what if one day you don't hear from me?

what if one day i'm lost and can't find my way back?

what if one day, there's no Ming Hui?

i wanna fly;

2010-01-21T08:20:00.000-08:00

i feel like a deflated balloon....

air being squeezed out totally....

and still expected to bounce like a normal balloon...

FLU IS MY ENEMY!!! =/

2010-01-20T17:11:00.000-08:00

alright..i am suppose to meet JULI is school at 10am but the time now is 912am!

CRAP! late late late!!

hai....

think i'm gonna get real sick soon....

hopefully i'll get sick soon...so i don't have to get sick during my exam and revising period!

and everyone around me is having flu and all..this is bad....=/

think is the weather...sian....

and later at night i'll be having this care circle meeting with the older people in church...

hmmmm...my feelings?

i'm excited yet scared..

first time having this kindof meeting with people that's much more older with me!

God, bless my mouth and give me added wisdom!!!

i'm sorry...

2010-01-19T05:16:00.000-08:00

i know the reason why i get so agitated already..

cause i don't know how you were feeling at that moment...

which lead me not here not there....

i don't know if i made you upset....

short replies gives me nightmares!!

i don't like how i'm feeling now.....

and also because...

i haven't seen you for long......

It's not Monday today! PHEW!!

2010-01-18T17:26:00.000-08:00

alright...this post is pretty random...

but i feel that i should blog!!

today's tuesday, but I OFFICIALLY DISLIKE MONDAYS!!!!!!

first: start early!!

secondly: i have a module which i do not understand what my lecturer is teaching!!

thirdly: i have lab and the teacher, who claims to have 35years of teaching, is NOT experience at all!!

sometimes, when you really have lousy teachers, you can't do anything but to just depend on yourselve and your classmates....

but what happens to the students when all of them don't understand and EOY exams are nearing??

the students will result into a state whereby they worry and are desperate to understand...[well, maybe its just me ba....]

yea....i finally found some discipline to seat down in my room to study ytd night...

well, listening to classical music helps me to focus.....

but the module is really so complicated that i only could have 1 hour of serious studying and after that i can't concentrate!!!

this is MAD!!!!

it's frustrating!!!

and also because of all these, i shut my doors to those people who tried to cheer me up and tried to start a conver with me!!

how selfish i am right?

thank God i could still rmb to do my QT before i go to sleep...

".....love your neighbors as yourself." Lev 19:18

yea man!!! if i want poeple to treat me well and love me and understand me.....

i should start from myself....

to treat people around me like how i'd love to be treated...

i'm thankful for not sleeping straight away....

God speaks!

so many thoughts;

2010-01-16T04:00:00.000-08:00

hahaha!!! yes, that's me in the photo!!

maybe it was taken when i was hmmmm....few years old?

ahahhaa...but the reason for me to post this photo up is not to boast that i was cute....hahaha...

but the reason is to remind myself that time pass really fast!!

just a moment ago, i small and cute and nedd to depend on everybody around me..

but now, i need to be independent and do things myself.

study hard without mum sitting down with me and revise together, going to school everyday myself without someone fetching me there and back.

i'm glad i have my family though!

especially for my parents to take care of me until i'm over their height!

haven't been posting very often these few days...

have been rather lazy to type the words out.....

but, there's alot of things happened when i never blog these few days...

have been trying to push myself to start stuyding cause i know that i'm not very smart....

but, out of 5 days, i only studied 1 day!!!! =/

hai...plus i don;t think i can focus on studying on the week of Chinese New Year cause i'll be at

my Grand's place at Malaysia!!

oh wells...

yesterday was ONE YEAR!!!

i'm just so so AMAZED on how God has brought us through so many downs!!

though there a few moments which we almost gave up...He was there constantly to pull us up from where we fell and make us learn more and more things about our own self and about each other....

thank You for Your love throughout!!!

please start working, MING!

2010-01-10T06:06:00.000-08:00

i've been given what i've to take charge of this year...

though is not something new, but i guess there'll be higher level of commitment!

yes, i am afraid that i would not do a good job in guiding...

i am not good in everything...

but i am purely taking that step of faith now....

to really allow Him to use me to complete His wonderful picture...

somehow, i still can't sit myself down to do school work...

i really still have this holiday mood...

this cannot go on man!!!

i really need to start doing my work cause there's really little time for me left!!

and i think its gonna be crazy!!! AGAIN!

but, this year, i would like to sit on chair one this year....

to really build that relationship with Him..

that no matter what happen.....

He'll be the one i'm turning to first before anyone....

that'll be my outmost goal this year...sometimes when i am doing something...

i really hope though i forgot my words...

you'll understand......

when things fails, what's your reaction?

2010-01-07T02:01:00.000-08:00

oh what a day for me today!

did you have any experiences where you work so hard and try so hard and somehow those

people around you never work so hard better better outcomes then you?

why??

i just don't understand what God wants me to go through....

i'v ebeen through all these and i know where i went wrong...

tired my very best sometimes....

but sometimes i just can't seem to get it....

it's complicating at times...

i needed to someone there...

i needed someone to talk to me.....

but i know i cannot approach you right at that point cause i know you're upset with me and no mood to talk about my problems....

alot to say....

Lord, grant me peace....

the next 5 weeks;

2010-01-06T19:45:00.000-08:00

haven't been posting lately because was pretty caught with some stuff.

school reopen again and things are going to seem even more CRAZY!

i only have 5weeks to study for my end-of-year test!!

or rather, 4weeks because on the last week, i'll be in Malaysia celebrating New Year!

man, i'm pretty much worried because i really wanna scored a good GPA...

so many things to handle, yet so little time...

sometimes i really believe all of us are taught to be some kindof superhero cause we're all busy doign so many things at one go.

new year, new starts.

there maybe a calling to do something or there may not be.

whatever God wants me to head to, i'll follow willingly.

wonderful words From God:

"A successful relationship requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. Always with the same person, but deeper and deeper every time.

Each time on a whole new level you together open in love and discover the truth of your beloved anew. There is no limit to the beauty of your beloved.

If you think you've reached the end, stop generalizing."

having the basic faith in this.

2010-01-01T07:14:00.000-08:00

so in conclusion the rest of your 364 days will not be good?

still have to wait for 364 days for better days??

what about me?

am i not there in your picture?

selfish brat;

2009-12-31T19:46:00.000-08:00

prepared meself.

wash myself pretty clean.

planned out everything.

thought about the day before i close my eyes.

felt excited for everything.

close my eyes to sleep.

woke up, made a call.

OH NO!!!!!

God, why must it turn out like that?

why izzit everytime i planned out so nicely, it all turn out nothing?

did you plan it like that?

did you want it like that?

am i being that selfish brat again, when something goes wrong i grumble and failed to see you picture?

guess i know myself better then anyone....

i guess i really am...... A place to crash

I got you

No need to ask

I got you

Just get on the phone

I got you

Come and pick you up if I have to

What’s weird about it

Is we’re right at the end

And mad about it

Just figured it out in my head

I’m proud to say

I got you

Go ahead and make me cry

I’ll be alright

And when you need a place to run to

For better for worse

I got you

hey, i got you...

2010

2009-12-28T20:55:00.000-08:00

just two more days to the end of 2009!!

don' you agree that time passes real fast!!!?

Things that i wanna give thanks to God:
1) for keeping me healthy without no major illness

2) for keeping my family safe and sound

3) for giving me friends around me in school to make me feel accepted

4) for giving me friends in church to encourage me when i feel like giving up in the things i've to do

5) for giving me a chance to serve as a CG leader

6) for a shelther to rest everyday

7) for the tears that rolled because its thru all these tears that i've learn that He was the one who was wiping it all for me

8) for His love

9) for you to be in my life

Things i DON'T WANT to bring forward to 2010:

1) my laziness in school work and projects

2) my laziness for not doing my QT EVERYDAY

3) my self-centeredness (don't wanna hurt people with this bad habit of mine)

yea...2009 is going away and yes!!

i am waiting for 2010 to come!! =]

one ultimate gift;

2009-12-26T07:36:00.000-08:00

i can't explain myself right now.

its amazing how God can speak to me so clearly through one movie!

sorry that i just run off so sudden....

but i just wanna let you guys know that i'm perfectly fine.....

just so over-whelmed that i dono what to say....

i am not person anyone should look up to.

not one person that anyone should learn from....

i've so many flaws and so self-centered.....

but its always through the grace of my Father that i can do all things.....

of it wasn't Him, i dono how and what i'll end up today.....

seriously!

and when you ask me to try and not be upset.....

i thought to meself.....

how can i cheer myself up when i feel like my whole world is full of rubbish that i threw in myself?

but, i'll still do it......for you.

one special love;

2009-12-25T08:33:00.000-08:00

i prayed for a special Christmas this year...

and God gave me one!

its one that i would never forget...

one that i'll always rmb its lesson behind it....

thank you for all the presents poeple...

and like what Melina sent me...."Big or small, I love them all!!"

but still, i think the most wonderful gift i've received (earthly)....

is your 11 words........

these 11 words, wrapped up nicely from your mouth which it's full of meaning and depth in it....

i'll never forget how how much you've willingly let go everything and just accept me...

thank you so much.....

i hope you enjoyed the cookie and that bottle...=]

but nonetheless, the best gift above all these gifts, is my Father's sacrificially love...

that love, is the most special love that no other love can replace....

now what?

2009-12-23T09:05:00.000-08:00

things i'm thinking might not even be true;

things i'm feeling might be because i think too much;

but why wouldn't she let her know?

why keep it like its some top secret?

oh wells....................

God, clear my doubts soon.....its killing me!

sometimes its good to talk about the future and how we're gonna wait for its arrival.....but when we're waiting for it.....its somehow remind of you poeple of the past....and how much you wish they can witness all these with you....

indeed, time flies past us very fast!

2009-12-22T23:02:00.000-08:00

before i start anything....check this two photos out!!! IT'S COOL STUFF!!!

alright!! i'm back from my UNLEASH CAMP and can finally find one day to slack at home!!

thank God the camp was a pretty good success and its really heart-warming to see the yunger ones feel what i felt when i attended a leadership training camp few years back! =]

even as i stay home today and just slack my day off....

i just so glad how He managed to bring me thru this super tired, draining and difficult time!

even as i look back, i also learn and gain back many things thru this camp...

He is in control of all things.

straight after the camp, i was being revealed to things i never thought before about my identity.....

though i don have any evidence and it doesn't really matter if its true...

i'll be good if i know what's happening and what had happened....

God, i know You'll somehow answer all my queries in Your time.

congrats my friend, you finally made up your mind and followed your heart!

i'm so proud of you!!!

so no matter what happens, though sometimes we may feel unjust...

continue to pray bout it!! =]

be happy from now on!!!

somehow, after each and every battle, i've better equipped myself....

i really couldn'e sleep with peace when both is mad....

i can honestly say that all along was my wrong....

but for this you and me, i'll work all things out no matter what..

cause i know its you.

and here i go again;

2009-12-13T17:42:00.000-08:00

sometimes you don't need words to spell out everything.

sometimes just by feelings, you'll know that there's something there.

i know it.

and because of that, i am utterly disappointed with myself for failing your expectations of me.

The WHYs in life

2009-12-13T06:33:00.000-08:00

sometimes i just don't understand. i don't understand what i'm thinking.
i don't understand why i did all these.
i don't understand why i always get back when things don't go my way.
i don't understand why i am like that sometimes.
i don't know why i just hate myself so much.
i don't know why i'm disappointing people so much.
i just don't know why.
God, why?

a bad start to my day;

2009-12-05T03:15:00.000-08:00

things will seem even crazier for the next 15 days ahead....

MST in 3 days time.....

CAMP in 11 days....

still, i'm glad that He has pulled us through this far......

we can.....i know we all can......=]

woke up with a bad dream....

it totally freak me out!

a dream i would never want it to happen....yet

i really don wanna lose everything....

not so fast.........

maybe this is a lesson i've to learn through this dream....

to cherish everything and everyone around me before God decides to take them away from me....

unhappy clown;

2009-12-04T06:57:00.000-08:00

i can't explain myself properly right now...

i'm getting agitated pretty easily.....

i've got a problem with myself....

i don't like the way i'm feeling....

i just can't seem to be happy....

it's like the feeling's gone.....

this world is really pulling me down down down.....

so much so that i feel so far from happiness.....

God, help me see what's wrong with me..i'm so sorry that you have to suffer all these stuff from me...

weeks ahead;

2009-12-02T07:43:00.000-08:00

if only i'm there now.........

this week: preparing for my MST!!

next week: prepare for UNLEASH CAMP 2009!!

week after next: rush for PROJECTS!!

and the list goes on......

although there's so many things going on......i thought this year was pretty fulfilling!! =]

but somehow, along the walk of life....

disappointments of you and you on people just pop in and disrupt everything...

two more to go.....

2009-11-28T08:14:00.000-08:00

two major presentations are finally done!!!

two down and two more to go before i can really sit down and mug for MST without and worries for any projects........

though it rained today....

i had a fulfiling time with brothers and sisters sharing....

and really felt that all the plannings and time sacrificed were all worth it when i see you guys grow through this CG....

thank You

& thank you, air-head.

He sent an 'umbrella' for me;

2009-11-27T09:41:00.000-08:00

i don't like it when its raining......

makes me feel very sad and i have no idea why...

it makes me just wanna hide away from everyone and everything...

it's like no matter where you run to, you'll definitely get wet.....

it's like there's no escape.....

have been really very very busy these few days...

projects; datelines; camp planning; MST; church; etc....

but its really amazing how He can comfort me at the most un-amazing place....

was walking pass TPY underground pathway...

and normally there'll be this 2 wonderful men singing to a series of songs...

and their voice and guitar is great!

so on thurs, when i walked pass them with a burdened mood...

they were actuually singing, "God is watching you...."...

never heard the song before but this was excatly what i needed at that time!

thank You for Your comfort....

i know you're tired from the whole day of working out...

i know you've been trying your best to put that real smile back on my face..

i know you weren;t intentional when you gave long replies...

i know you've tried your best....

just give me time to adjust to my surrounding.....

i sincerely apologise;

my mustard seed;

2009-11-25T01:41:00.000-08:00

"If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can tell the mountains to move from here to there and it will move. This is what my God can do and i trust."

if only......

2009-11-24T07:53:00.000-08:00

its really been so so so so long since i've really blogged...

always want to tpye something here, but don't really have the time....

one thing that stuck on my mind throughout all these days was that the life you have now its really very very fragile...

its like one moment you're healthy and jumpy, the next moment you're gone like the dust...

He has the power to breathe our life and take it away....

so many same sort of incidents are happening around me....

aunt, teacher roland and this random aunty that talked to me last Sat....

hereditary is the common category they had.....

God, what are you trying to tell me??

work load is getting crazier and crazier...

even though you might finish things you are supose to do.....

more comes on your list as days pass....

and this is real bad cause if you continue working and working...

you willl lose that focus and go hay-wire!

just afew more weeks to MST........

and its gonna be CRAZY!!!!!!

camp is coming up too!!

just after MST it will be UNLEASH CAMP!

no matter how tired i am, i still have to run on....

plus have responsibilities here and there, i can't just because i'm tired and stop doing all...

that'll be considered and irresponsible!!!

and....when you have alot of things on hand....you'll tend to spend lesser time at home.....

mum is not really please with it........

which i really can't help.......

thank you for just listening and being there....

sorry for bringing on my emotional rollar coaster.....=/

but your presence in my life is really impt....

but above all these things........

i thank God for even protecting me everyday....

for giving me a good health....

for giving me a shelther to rest my head...

for people around me to push me on....

for laughters to brighten up my day....

for love that sweeten up my life....

for family support.....

for Christ love.

if only i can teleport there now....

its Aman Yara....

so far......

2009-11-18T09:43:00.000-08:00

sorry that i did not blog for the past few days...

was really so busy that i didn't even have the time to enter MSN.....=/

yes, assignments are piling up.....

i've got 4 PROJECTS to rush.....

two of it is drawings!!!.....

quizes coming up.....

datelines reaching soon.....

MST coming soon.....

this and that, that and this.......

busy busy and busier.....

but i'm glad i've got Someone that i can always turn to in the middle of the stillness of the night...

to uplift all the burdens to Him.....

thank You...=]

picture update again!!!...=]

2009-11-18T09:26:00.000-08:00

me and Juli!!!...=]

closer look of fiza in bangs.....=]=D

what we did in the toilet...teehee.....xD

and this picture was taken that Fiza straighten and bang-ed her hair....=]

and this was my voting board......=]

i was too over-whelmed by the stars the audience gave me.....was thanking them at the background of this picture.....=)

teehee...the girls!!!...=D

that's Reena (dono how to spell)...she's the only girl that imitate MJ....cool!

another photo....=]

and that's zi yun...=]

hmmmm....fiza was suppose to look jealous.................

and the prize presentation.....RIVER ISLAND $100!!!

the old man behind me was my previous lecturer...andsurprisingly voted quite alot for me....=D

the friends that came down to support me!!...=]

made friends with my fingers today =]

2009-11-15T02:19:00.000-08:00

hot and cold, hot and cold;

when will i be just nice and warm?
"my fourth finger, You've reminded me that

You'll never failed me even when everything falls down......"

who knows better than He does?

2009-11-14T09:29:00.000-08:00

what can you see from this picture?

i see a hidden grief;

"You are here with me and i will not fear..."

i had a ride on a rollar coaster today!

2009-11-12T08:16:00.000-08:00

alright...its about just hours away till i start my last round of rehersal tml at 9am...

and yes, i'm suppose to sleep now.....

but i just can't seem to make myself to sleep.....

things and emotions change so fast that it'll just leave you stunned there!!

and that explains why my title is "I had a ride on a rollar coaster today!"

its like emotions changes so fast like how the rollar coaster moves!

yea....its alright if you don't really get what i'm trying to say.....

anw, i've gpt LOA for the whole day tml.....shiok but it feels weird..ahaha

it's like you're in school but not in class.....

oh wells.....i am nervous for tml....very very.....

can't explain it in words....

i hope all goes well tml......=]

even if.....

you're stubborn;

you're proud;

you're self-centered;

you're angry;

you're upset;

you're acting crazy;

you're happy;

you're sad;

you're frustrated;

or whatever........

the feelings i have for you will never ever change.....

who do you wanna be on the stage?

2009-11-11T17:44:00.000-08:00

alright....i feel so so dump today!!!!

i was suppose to start school at 10am...but i forgot that the 10am's lesson was not on today.....

and so i start school at 1.30pm!!!! and i woke up at 8AM!!!! -_-

oh wells....nvm...anso i decided to come online and maybe do some reading up later since MST is coming....=]

yea....anw...i went to meey ENYA ytd while waiting for my rehersal to start around 5pm...and hey girl...i'm sure you're not missing out anything.....if you feel that you are, do everything

good so it will not be....if you get what i'm trying to say....

and like i always tell myself, "Since i'm in it, i'll give my best shot!"....

you can do it!!! love you!!

and now, let me talk about my rehersal.....

hai....first round of practice wan't what i would say was good.....

however, thank God 2nd round was better...so much better...

i tried to imagine tha audience infront of me....its indeed very scary....

luckily the sptolight was quite blinding so couldn't reaaly see them cleary....(i think...=/)
i'm anxious;i'm nervous;i'm scared;i'm excited;i wanna sing........

*breathe in, breathe out.....*hahhaa

hey, You are not ignored by me.....

and i know You're always there....

even when i standing on the stage, i know You were in the audience seat, watching....

i love You......thank You for this voice You've given me....=]

just by that comment, i know i'm doing all fine...

thank you so so much!!

it really meant alot to me....=)

imagine that.....;

who's glory?

2009-11-10T07:11:00.000-08:00

another day of school passed..

and yet a day lesser to MST!!!

i really cannot do this alone Lord!!

GRRRRR!!!!!!!.....

tml will be my rehersal for my finals this friday!!!

I'M REALLY SCARED!!!!

cos this is my very very first solo competition!

i just fear that i might 'gobble' up all the glory to myself alone.....=/

keep reminding me Lord!!!

Please....

T.R.U.T.H

2009-11-08T06:37:00.001-08:00

today was an alright day....

had church and followed by camp meeting....

thank God we decided on some sttuffs today...=]

and thank God the "Don't forget the MEANING!" went well....hahahhahaha

but...........

when i went home, i received a good news and a bad news....

good: my cousin's baby is coming out into the world pretty soon..and its a baby boy!! =]

bad: my aunt is down with cancer and just realize it recently and the doctor told her she's on her last stage.....................=/

first my grandma, then my dad, then now my aunt.....God, who'll will it be next??

this lead me to think about how things might just happen to you without you knowing...

like my aunt lived a pretty healthy lifestyle and yet this is happening.....

then what are you gonna do bout this fact?

sit there and cry? stay an even healthier lifestyle? do more exercise? be a better person? do more charity?

or will you stay even closer to the Creator?

will you believe that this God really knows and already had it all planned?

then.........would you follow His will?

i guess it's all pretty hard to answer and somethings we tend to runaway from questions like this.......

but it's time to face the hard truth....."For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son as an atoning sacrifice....."

PICTURES!!

2009-11-08T06:23:00.000-08:00

alright...since i haven't been blogging for quite long.....

i shall put some of the pictures up!! =]

alright, this is JO&MING!!

and this is LING&MING!!
and the 3 MUSKEETERS (don't know how to spell....=D)

JO's favourite face...hahah!!!! =]

teehee!!!!!! =]

and now....here ANGIE the COOL!!! =)

cool eh...all our fox jackets!!

hehehehe.....our funny faces on display!!!

black and white......?

ME&FIZA!

You are my all;

2009-11-01T06:36:00.000-08:00

In my down times and up times...

He is....

My Comforter;

My Hope;

My Friend;

My Joy;

My strength;

My Help;

My Future;

My Provider;

My Teacher;

My Peace;

My Father...

and only through You, everything is fine.

and so, praise the Lord for He is OH-SO-GOOD!!!

when

2009-10-30T09:06:00.000-07:00

Lord, when?

when?

"The Lord is my hope........"

missing Ming is like a lullaby for me........

remembering;

2009-10-29T09:43:00.000-07:00

took that photo out and once again the feeling consummed me...

i remember we used to sit in KFC and you took all the over-fried fries cause you said was bad for my little body but actually you liked them....
i remember we used to walk home from school last time and how you would offer to carry my school bag for me...

i remember once i wanted this toy and you bought it for me without hesitating...

i remember how you held me when i had the bad fall during Pri3...
i remember when i happily walked out of school waiting for you to come and fetch me but all i could find was mum....

i remembered how worried her face was....

i remember the days i've to spend in the hospital for you....

i remember how she went mad when she knew the news at 6am....

i remember you.

i really wish you were here to give me advice and tell me what to do and scold me if i did anything wrong...

but i guess God has His wonderful plan...

what happens when you're yourselve;

2009-10-29T07:04:00.000-07:00

started school at 1.30pm today...

thank God for the long sleep...

haven't had that for a long long time...

but this guilt have been following me everywhere for the past days...

So I sat down and 'indulge' myself into it....

I remembered some stories before I could really get in there.

So I remembered what I tell myself when I feel guilty to turn up the volume, so to speak, “It’s my own fault,” is a good one, and then I stumbled upon an old time favorite, “When I am truly myself I inevitably hurt the people I’m close to with my words and deeds.”

Having turned up the volume I noticed how my shoulders rose and I bent over.

Guilt, indeed, feels like a heavy burden.when i sleep, it's there....

when i wake up, it's there...

when i travel to school, it's there....

and when i see those short replies....

guilt seems to drown me even more...

God, save me from this......

"The Lord is slow in anger and compassionate....."

alone;

2009-10-28T09:16:00.000-07:00

how am i suppose to sleep when.....

in the darkness;

i feel the silence;

listening to sad songs;

wetting my face with tears;

tearing the coat that i hide my feelings in the day;

longing for something that i took for granted;

God, how am i gonna live for the rest of my days?

"The joy of the Lord is my strength..."

time factor;

2009-10-28T05:42:00.000-07:00

my school ended pretty early...

and since i've no plans for my day, i headed back home...

and decided to complete my tutorials...=]

almost finish everything except 2 of them....

drowned myself with these work and i even re-packed my room, help my mum do some vacumming......

and why drown?

cause Ming Hui is not deserved to think so much...

you've done many worngs and you wanna think so much??

in your dreams!

so yea....got along my day with all these things and awaiting for that message...=]

it takes time for food to decompose;

it takes time for hair to grow longer;

it takes time for little children to grow taller;

so i know it takes time for the usual you to be back...

i deserve to wait...

thank You Lord for this chance...

thank You Lord for this day where i can rest my mind....=]

beautiful sky;

2009-10-27T08:26:00.000-07:00

Jolene said this before, "We all take second chances for granted."...

well, i second what she said.....

and let me add on to it, "...We'll only truely learn how to cherish when its the last chance or when its totally gone."...

so since its my last chance, Lord, show me how you want me to mend it...

thank you so much....

Do you ever wonder why we look to the sky?

Search in vane?

Asking why?

All alone?

Where is God?

maybe i might not know how to answer 4 qns...

but for the last qns, i know He'll always be with me...

that's the kindof assurance i got...

thank You!

hard way;

2009-10-26T07:20:00.000-07:00

school was pretty tiring...

had a long day day in school....

nothing much happened to school today...yea

then i went for a run alone today....ipod playing the song 'remembering sunday'....

ran to the usual place we go....

ran pass the place where you asked me look at the basketballers and gave me a shock...

ran pass the path when you send me home....

its impossible for me to keep on thinking.......about you....

afraid but eager;

a lesson learn through the hard way...

and today, i come face to face with death....

almost met with a car accident while walking home...

suddenly, i was afraid...

i din want to just go like that....

i've got to work hard in school and replace all the dissppiontments i've place on my mum...

i've got to close up gaps with different friends....

i've got to have the experience of working...

i've so so many things i still want to serve in church....

i've to mend a relationship that i broke....

God, its still not time....

thankfully, He gave me a yet a chance once again...

the car stopped just right infront of me,,,

and i'm still alive!

give thanks.....

for He never abandon me....

my race;

2009-10-25T05:30:00.000-07:00

spirit renewed....

good sermon...(Good JOb Matthew!!! =D)

God told me once again that He's bigger than all the problems i have...

and ask me to rely on Him instead of mine...

cause somehow He knows that when i go my own way, i'll fall into unwanted consequences....

thank You......

peering out of my window to see your's....

the lights are on.....

but what are you doing?

probably busy with things??

what happened to your day?

did you enjoy yourselve?

were you upset with things?

how did you feel today?

God, show me how to finish this race....

those days;

2009-10-24T08:38:00.000-07:00

you know i really thank God i that have a bunch of friends that i can really pour out my pain to...

and who can understand how i feel at times....

thank you so much girls!!

it really means alot to me....

and thank you for all your encouragements...=]

i know its not gonna be easy, but i know its all these things that makes it stronger....

and with friends and God, all will be fine....=]

"God is within her, she will ot fall;

God will help her at the break of the day.

Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall;

He lift His voice, the earth melts."

He has plans for you already...

so Ming, have faith that He''l bring you through

though i did so many things that's wrong,

thank you for just accepting me again and again,

for i don't deserve you,

but thank God you are here.

thanks God for those words...

wish;

2009-10-23T09:33:00.000-07:00

if only i have one wish right now...
i'd wish to turn back time....
to not repeat all my misakes and live at peace everyday...
to make everyone happier so as to stay happy...
to not give sufferings to people...
but i know its all impossible and what's done is done....
what i've done was done....
and i'm full of regret....
i'm totally lost in the middle of my own mess and seems like everyone can't hear me....
do i still have chances even if i had alot already?

2009-10-22T08:22:00.000-07:00

please don't just go home like that...

upside down;

2009-10-22T06:52:00.000-07:00

school has been fine so far....some modules are really interesting...

but some are really very boring...hahhaa....so many things are going on at one time right now...

school commitments, church commitments, old friends commitments, personal commitments.....and the list will go on and on......

sometimes when so many things are going on in your life....

you tend to feel tired and exhuasted very easily...

you need someone to understand and believe you...

but that's easier said then done...

you yourselve have 'behave'....

and when things don't go your way, you tend to blame people around you....

do you ask yourselve what's your problem????

now that's the problem with me......

how can i be so......ignorant??

now silence is all that i've left....

missing ming

and its not you that failed.....

its me.........failed terribly...

i'll just wait untill you're cooled down with me....

i don wanna fail even more.....

i didn't do things delibrately......looks like a solo tonight;

back!!

2009-10-21T10:34:00.000-07:00

back here once again....

decided again to switch back to use blogger....

yea...school started and all has been fine so far....

sometimes, you're just so upset until your tear gland don't form tears anymore...

but nothing can stop me to continue.

2009-08-30T08:08:00.000-07:00

I've moved!!!!

http://dingminghui.livejournal.com/

do relink me alright...

thanks!!=]

2009-08-23T19:04:00.000-07:00

i am stressed like no one else's business!!!

calculator died yesterday night! Am going to fixed and change the bat later.

afew more hours till my first Poly Exam paper starts and somehow i still feel that there's alot more to do and memorise!!!

ARGH!!!!!!!

God, bless me!

your jacket was really comforting...

2009-08-22T07:54:00.001-07:00

you never understand.

your rantings frustrates me.

its not like as if i can solve all.

Lord, teach me how to be slow to anger.

2009-08-19T08:21:00.000-07:00

tired.

in every aspect.

but holding on to love.

2009-08-18T08:48:00.000-07:00

what's wrong with you, Ming?

why must you must yourselve fall into this kinf of pit holes..

make until people don't reply your messages....

instead, choose to do back all the things you've done to them back to you!

Lord, hear my cry!

2009-08-17T09:34:00.000-07:00

i believe your heart speaks these.....

mine does

"I don't know anything about tomorrow, nor what coming days will bring;

But I know my Lord is with me, and His praise my heart will sing."

2009-08-16T08:27:00.000-07:00

BACK!!!!

Joy and Peace

There is a deep peace down within my soul

For i know I've been forgiven and my name's on heaven's roll

I've got the joy, joy, jpy down in my heart

For my Saviour did not forsake me

He's been there from the start

He has always been with me since I first believed

And so many blessings from Him I have received

My Saviour kept me in HIs hand like He promised He would

And when I could not understand He worked it out for good

At times when my journey on earth seemed to be long

He upheld me in HIs arms and gave to me a song

Praise the Lord, Jesus stayed with me to the very end

He was there through the rough times

And His love He did extend

Words cannot express how i love my Saviour so

For His thender mercies do forever

Continuosly flow

He remembered me when my way I could not find

He was there all the time and i was always on His mind.

thank you, Lord!

2009-08-09T07:50:00.000-07:00

alright my dear blog, am not gonna post for a few days....

am having my thinking week so all thoughts will not be coming here but somewhere else....

yups....don't miss me too much!

i'll be back!!

LOVES BLOG!

2009-08-08T07:31:00.000-07:00

i'll never give up.

even if you do, i'll never. NEVER!!!!!!

need a break through to change every single cell of me.

to convince not just you, but everyone, and my Father.

because i know i've disappointed Him the most....

2009-08-08T04:24:00.000-07:00

I Will Be

There's nothing I could say to you

Nothing I could ever do to make you see

What you mean to me

All the pain, the tears I cried

Still you never said goodbye and now I know

How far you'd go

I know I let you down but it's not like that now

This time I'll never let you go

I will be all that you want and get myself together

'Cause you keep me from falling apart

All my life, I'll be with you forever

To get you through the day and make everything okay

I thought that I had everything

I didn't know what life could bring

But now I see, honestly

You're the one thing I got right

The only one I let inside

Now I can breathe 'cause you're here with me

And if I let you down, I'll turn it all around

'Cause I would never let you go

I will be all that you want and get myself together

'Cause you keep me from falling apart

And all my life, I'll be with you forever

To get you through the day and make everything okay

Without you I can't breathe

I'm not gonna ever, ever let you leave

You're all I got, you're all I want, oh

'Cause without you I don't know what I'd do

I can never, ever live a day without you

Here with me, do you see you're all I need?

And I will be, all that you want and get myself together

'Cause you keep me from falling apart

And all my life, I'll be with you forever

To get you through the day and make everything okay

I will be all that you want and get myself together

'Cause you keep me from falling apart

And all my life, I'll be with you forever

To get you through the day and make everything okay

2009-08-07T19:07:00.000-07:00

can't believe i actually did that to you.

Lord, please please don't take this away!

please! i know i'm wrong.

BACK TO SCHOOL AGAIN!!!

2009-08-07T00:23:00.000-07:00

today, i went back to school after my horrendous fever!! =D

and they kept on making fun of me saying : "Why you hair never drop off? Your fever never burn your hair meh???"......-_-

today, i had a pretty short day in school again!!

celebrated PATRICK's BIRTHDAY today!!!!hahaha...hope you enjoy the 4-in-1 birthday cake!!! =D

meeting sarah later to go for our dear ANDREA's church concert!!

hahaha....don't know why, but i'm feeling rather nervous....

maybe because i'll be seeing some of my juniors there at the concert later....=]

yea........

i've been pondering alot since i've parted form the bus-stop.....

what are dreams?Dictionary.com : "a succession of images, thoughts, or emotions passing through the mind during sleep."

i don't know why again, but i'm just pretty bothered the whole day.....

it kept me thinking about two things.....

1) is it because in real life the trust is not even there, so much so that this kindof dreams occur?

2) or is it just another random dream?

there's no doubt bout us....

but the dream..................................

2009-08-06T03:47:00.000-07:00

alright am getting better and think i'll be going to school tml!! staying at home is so boring!!!
plus being sick with high fever for two days is even worst!!
thankfully, my fever has gone down down down and was able to think and complete my worship plan!!
all by His grace!
you always change my worst to beautiful ones.
thank you!

sick

2009-08-05T06:04:00.000-07:00

yea i am sick!! very very sick!!

have been have temperature like 38.6 - 39.5 since ytd night!!

i know its pretty serious, but i know everything will be fine...

mum and aunty have been pretty worried for me...

you know, sometimes at this kindof situation you can really feel their care and concern..

thanks!

i have lots of things for me to settle and worry for...

i have a worship to lead on Sunday and i'm only halfway done!

hopefully by tml, my mind will be clear and able to think plan finish everything!

somehow, for this time's fever, i treat it as a rest God has given me...

caus ei haven't been really taking time out to rest at home and all....

so there's good and bad for this fever!

you're also feelig as crappy as i am....

thank you and hope i'll get better soon!

2009-08-02T07:20:00.000-07:00

yea, it's gonna be the end of my week-ends....

had a pretty laughy day thanks to Do&Jo&NA&CHONG!!!....(PEWS!!!, bus-unglams!) xD

and like i always say: week-ends always have alot of insights for me to keep and sustain throughout the week-days...

yea.....learn alot of things form everywhere today and yesterday....

i've learnt that i shouldn't give up doing things that i've responsiblility in....

i shoudn't be so selfish just because i'm feeling dry and obstruct other's that want to be renewed...

so that has challenged me to pick u again from where i fell, going back to His presence....

biggest bring back point from church today was that i should always take time to evaluate myself before Him...

even when people start to judge me or what-so-ever.....

i should never doubt Him...

and that tone and choice of words can really hurt people at times....

yea....another start of a new week..

many many many things already set up ahead..

many things to commit to.....

but i know i need Him and He'll guide e and show me how things are going to be....

i know He will....=]

anw...this is random, but i found this on the polar cake box toady and i thought is was nice...

"If there's one word that can make us happy, comforted and cared for, it is Love."

not only in the aspect of interactions with poeple, but also God's love.for i know the sun that shines brightly for me is His faithful love.

beautiful mess

2009-08-01T08:58:00.000-07:00

peace&serenity.

that's pretty important for yourselve, with your friends and with God.

week ends are always the days that i get lots of insights from church and bring me back on track again....thank You Lord....

anw...thanks Feezha for your concern...

i guess there's bound to have friction and bumps through the road up ahead...

but it's really up to you whether you want to keep it or not...

for me, i'd choose to put down the pride and keep this going on...

thanks a million girl!

putting the differences aside ain't the way, Ming....

you should keep the differences, and move on, and learning how to CONQUER them!
that's how it should be...

-what a beautiful mess-

rollar coaster ride

2009-07-31T09:26:00.000-07:00

thank You for letting me realise that i am not alone going thru stuff....

thank You for letting me lead a worship successfully today...

thank You Lord........

-BUT-

"Don't assume!

Because it'll make an ASS out of you and me."-taken from Jolene

coming back home, feeling tired and worn out, thinking that Care Circle leader's gathering went almost perfectly fine....

thinking that i'm gonna have the perfect bedroom-clean and proper to rest abit....

thinking that i'll have the best shower through out this whole week.....

thinking that mum will talk to me the nicest way ever.....

thinking that went i go online, i'll be greeted by you....

but why does bad things always happen when i see everything oh-so-perfect?

came back home, my room was totally upside-down caus eof my cousins [probably they played in my room]....

had the suckiest shower cause i had to rush through to make it on time to meet you on MSN....

had a small quarrel with mum over the slightest stupid reason which is my contacts.....

had a super big mis-communication with you and just got so hurt over assumptions....

i explained, i apologised, i gave in........

i don't what to do....

what's more.......never wanna talk to me anymore......

that was the biggest hit for this whole day, whole week, whole month, whole life.......

all the more coming from you

=]

2009-07-30T08:33:00.000-07:00

even though felt abit weird at first....

but everything and everyone went smoothly...

we all had fun....=D

no said it was gonna be easy.

but i'm glad HE brought me through.

thank You!

what a hectic yet beautiful day in the eyes of the Lord! =]

2009-07-28T03:41:00.000-07:00

just ended my project for ONOW!!

what a relief, baby!

feling so tired now....so brain dead...

and i'm suppose to sit down and study later on....

how la?? so tired yet so many things to do.....

but i guess somehow, i'll do pretty fine...

had a crazy, hair-pulling lesson with Mr Lim today....
turorial questions was CRAZY!! and plus his nonsense talks made me even more.......CRAZY!!!

but i MANAGED to finish most of it!!! YAY!!!! =]

should i study more later?? or shall i start on my new Nicolas Sparks book- At first sight?

hai...we'll see how.......

anw!! i did my QT for the past two days!!

i am so proud of myself!!

things i've been reading really spoke to me somehow....

like for the past week, i've been really having alot of un-answered questions in my brain....

but He answered all those for me...

making realise that He's joy is my strength! =]

"You give me confidence because You believe in me, even when I can’t.

You see in me what I cannot see due to years of broken filters and lies that I’ve believed.
You make me run a few extra minutes when I feel like I’m about to die or my legs are going to give out on me.
Your encouragement keeps me going.
You make me get up out of bed in the morning. Sometimes slowly, but always with a smile.

Thank You Lord!"

study. study. study.

i know you can!

You make me a better person just because of who you are.

You make me want to give more, to do more, to be more than I currently am.

thank you & GO, GO, GO!!

first day of week

2009-07-27T07:12:00.000-07:00

had a long day in school today...

FINALLY MANGED TO UNDERSTAND MY F.M!!!!
all thanks to Ms Soh!! =D

and today is SUPER COLD!! freezing cold!hHAHa.....

and i've decided to get back on track with God...

no matter how hard or tired or whatever...

i've to get back..........

it's my responsibility as a children of God....

"here i am once again, Lord, earning for Your embrace."

sometimes, when it all gets comfortable, things may get wrong here and there...

i'd rather lessen the times then make mistakes...

but it was great today!
thank you very much!

2009-07-27T01:21:00.000-07:00

alright...in the middle oflesson now..

not really listening to the lecturer now cause i really can't understand....

the sky outsideis SOOOOO dark!!

and the clouds are moving SOOOO fast!!

one of my friend,Zhi Kai,said that it's end of the world!!!

SUPER FUNNY!!!!

but whatever!!.....

think i'm gonna go home and practice this topic.....

sorry lecturer......

worries, worries and more worries.....

2009-07-26T04:21:00.000-07:00

yes Patrick!! exams are nearing!!

and i really dono if i can make it through...

my my my....so many things coming coming again...

i honestly, i really feel that i either here or there....

i don't know why am not as "on" as last time for everything now...

i really dono what's wrong....

there's this sudden mundane-ness or quiet-ness in life right now....

i can't feel the push.....

Lord, what's wring with my system now?

why am i feeling so...........physically, emotionally and spiritually restless??

tired? stress? bored?

i dono....i tried to figure out, but no answer....

i'm clueless, Lord.................

somebody, tell me why......

it's gonna be a new start of the week again....

i'm scared cos everything that's bad always happens during week-days!

and i dono why too!

i don wan week days!

but i have to go thru no matter what.....

hai......

TGIF!!!

2009-07-24T08:25:00.001-07:00

what if one day everyone around you suddenly don't believe you?

they start to blame you for everything you do or say....

even blame you for the things that you did right....

i know you never had trust in me....

fine then.....i've tried, you missed it....

so i'm not gonna say or make any noice anymore....

cos i know no matter how hard i try........

i'll face a cold house everytime.....

i'm just so tired, you know?

i wanna concentrate on my studies....

i don wanna get affected by you......

things thta you say that's sounds right to me....i i'll rmb and do it...

other then that....i'm sorry, it's going in and coming out...

i'm sorry....cos you've never understand my view....

but i still do cherish you....i hope you do....

today, thank you too for listening to all the stuff i said...

good or bad, let's start again and move on....

important thing is that, i've learnt to cherish one person even more....it's you

Lord, i'm sorry. i only can think of the word "sorry" to you...

YOu've called me, but i haven't been doing this job well....

i'm not fit, but You've choosed me....

what should i do now?

"when the sun rises, it rises for you.

Yes, for you. Just for you. Only for you.

You are it, everything, the whole universe with all the billion galaxies and stars.

The separateness you feel is only a mask you have put on to enjoy this human form.

Under the mask, your shape is All.

How far can you now feel your Self expand?

To your parent?... to your child?... to your friend?... to a stranger on a street?...

half way around the globe? "

thank You for Your faithfulness that i've taken it for granted...

OPERATION THURSDAY: SUCCESS!!!

2009-07-23T08:42:00.000-07:00

OOOOO!!!!

i enjoyed myself totally so so much today!!

all thanks to: Matthew, Suzanne, Jolene & Ling Hui...

and of course, BOTANIC GARDEN!!!!hahaha

had a night pinic beside a lake with 2 pretty swans there!! cool stuff!!

think swans are really pretty!! love them!! =]

glad that you guys enjoyed today!!

will post some photos the in next post....

yea!!

[[I LOVE SPASTICS!! =D]]

i dono....i just have so so many questions marks....

i dono if i am doing the right things....

i dono if i'm saying the right things....

i'm just utterly sorry for things that i've done unknowingly that cause all these moody moodswings....

i guess i failed.......

but i'm willing to "study hard" to pass with flying colours!!

no matter how hard it is to prove to you....

i want to be your sunshine....

but first, you've got to let me in.....

but i guess, the time will come....

Lord, i know you know what we're all going thru....so, hold us thru!

thank You!

botanic garden, HERE I COME!

2009-07-22T07:27:00.000-07:00

today's just a normal day today...

was suppose to watch potter today with enya...

but in the end did not...

so just stayed in school and slacked...

laughed super alot!! ahhaha....

why? why do people get so emo at times?

i can just sit in the bus and think bout alot alot of things!!

and i don like to think about alot of things!

makes me feel so, unsure, so unsecure....

oh wells....

am looking forward o the pinic tml @ BOTANIC GARDEN with the SPASTICS!!

hahahah!!! EXCITED!!!!

for now, am gonna go and do more stuff....

"i'll be there at you lowest points and highest points!

so no worries...just continue to move forward."

2009-07-21T06:23:00.000-07:00

why izzit everytime people around me lose their trust in me so easily?

everywhere, whoever.........my trust points would fail?

its really pain when you've got to be treated like a small girls who's being restricted to everything...

Lord, i don wan fights, i just want trust in me.......